Pictures From Our Hospital Stay

Although Adeline's birth wasn't what I envisioned, our stay at the hospital wasn't all bad.  Here is a look back via pictures.

First tubby and not happy about it!

Nonna & Papa came to visit

Auntie Jamie

Auntie Sarah

Dad, Sarah, and Kath!

Kathy

Reesey came to visit!! 

My first baby who is now such a big girl!

So in love with her "baby" sissy.

First family of four picture! 

Big sister gifts from Adeline to Reese. :-)

Nana!!!

New trains!

Going home!

Adeline Kate's Birth Story-- Part 3

* Sorry for the delay- I've sat down to finish this story 3 times, and spent hours writing it, just to find out that there was a glitch in Blogger, so when I went to publish it everything I had written had disappeared.  Cue the tears.

If you need to catch up, you can find Part One here and Part Two here.

C-section it was.  Todd was given scrubs, the doctor pushed Adeline's head back up as far as she could (yes, it felt as awesome as it sounds), and before I knew it we were heading to the OR.  The room was freezing: it was sterile & cold, and had that surgery smell to it.  I looked at the clock, it was 6:45pm.  Soon enough my arms were strapped down, the curtain went up, and things were prepped.  Todd finally came into the room as they began my surgery.  It was truly an outer-body experience.  I felt tugs, lot of pressure and pulling, and within a few minutes Adeline was born! Her cry made Todd and I just sob.  What a relief it was to hear that sweet sound! Immediately I could hear the nurses and doctors discuss how big she was.  I knew it! Even a few hours earlier two doctors felt my belly and said "I'd guess she's about 7.5-8lbs", and "Average size!" Sure enough Adeline was big! 9lbs 1oz big! She was bigger than Reese! Oh my! This made me irrationally angry for some reason.  How did this happen? Todd and I tried everything to avoid me carrying a baby that was too big for me to birth.  I get that women smaller than me deliver big babies all of the time, but for whatever reason my body cannot carry or birth 9lb babies.

A few minutes went by and I began to feel super nauseous, I started shaking and dry heaving, then eventually started throwing up.  I wanted the surgery to be over stat. I asked the anesthesiologist how much longer and I was told at least 30-40 minutes.  She told me that it takes a lot longer to be sewn back up than it does to have the baby out.  I was so anxious.  During this time Todd was with Adeline getting all cleaned off, getting her stats, etc.  I was thankful he was able to be with her, because I was in no condition to even have her on me.  :-( I remember the nurse asking if I wanted her on my chest, but I was so sick throwing up that I couldn't.   I also vaguely remember someone asking what her name was, and I just had tears streaming down my face because this was not the way I had envisioned giving birth, and I could barely see her, never mind bond with her and name her.

Minutes went by and I could hear the doctors talking, "she's losing a lot of blood", and I could feel blood gushing out from between my legs. Something was wrong.  I begged them to put me under general anesthesia.  They refused, and told me I would be okay.  However, a few minutes later they announced that Todd was to take the baby and head back to our room while I got finished up, this was at 8:15pm.  I knew something was wrong.  That's the last thing I remember.  Apparently, right afterwards the doctors decided to put me under because of the complications.  

And complications there were! I guess there was a laceration made when opening me up that was on the inside of my vagina. That was the source of the bleeding.  When all of my organs were out my doctor noticed that one of my ureters was enlarged.  I guess it's okay and expected for one side of the ureters to become enlarged during pregnancy, however mine was the opposite side.  My doctor called in the team of doctors from Urology.  While they were there they did a few tests including one where they put blue dye through my ureters to make sure that there were no blockages, and no leakages, which there were not.  However, when they noticed a spot on my bladder.  The Gynecology Oncology team was called it.  They took the spot off of my bladder and sent it to be biopsied. I was then finally stitched up and put back together.

I remember waking up in the OR groggy and unsure of what was going on.  I looked at the clock as they wheeled me out and it said 12:30am.  WHAT?! How on earth had my c-section taken 6 hours??? When I got back to my room Todd had this look on his face that I'll never forget.  Worry, nervousness, and relief all rolled into one.  You have to remember that poor Todd was stuck in our room by himself for 5 hours with Adeline! No one had known that I was headed for a c-section, and our families (specifically my mother was texting for updates). Finally at 9pm Todd sent a text with a picture of Adeline saying "Hello! I've arrived via c-section".  Todd also was instructed to give Adeline a bottle of formula due to her glucose levels being lower than a 40 and my inability to nurse her since I was in surgery.  She was tested due to being over 9lbs.  

When I asked Todd what had happened, he explained I had some complications but was okay.  All I heard him say was biopsy.  I immediately asked him, "cancer??" he told me no, definitely not. I'm too young and healthy for that and the doctors said it would be very rare. We stayed in that room until 4:30am so I could be closely monitored during recovery.  I was so exhausted, but tried to bond with my beautiful baby girl, nursing her, and just thankful to have her delivery behind me.

Unfortunately that is not where Adeline's birth story ends. 

The next day I had tons of doctors (teams of them actually) in and out of my room all checking on me. I had ultrasounds on my bladder/kidneys/ureters/etc., I had physical exams, and also had the constant monitoring by the nurses that one would normally have after a routine c-section delivery.   It was super hectic, but my surgery had been very complicated and was my condition was serious.  I ended up needing a blood transfusion later that morning since I had lost so much blood it had caused my blood count to be so low, my BP was also really low and my HR was really high.  We had no visitors that day.  I needed to get well and rest & recover.

As for the biopsy results? Cancer.  I had bladder cancer at the age of 31. I'll never forget how I received the news.  Todd had left on Friday morning to head back to our house to pick up Reese and my mom for Reese to meet Adeline for the first time, so I was all alone when Dr. Psutka came into my room and asked where my husband was.  I told her that Todd had gone home to get Reese and my mom.  She told me she had good news and bad news.  The bad news was that it was in fact, cancer.  The good news was that they had gotten it all, and that there was no longer cancer in my body.  It was caught so early that it wasn't even stage one.  It was what they would call stage T1, meaning it hadn't even penetrated the top layer on my bladder. I wouldn't require any further treatment (chemo, radiation, etc), but would need to be closely monitored moving forward.  I have my first follow up appointment this Wednesday, and then will be scanned every 3 months, then every 6.  I guess they'll go into my bladder with a camera. I've been told by every doctor that Adeline saved my life. Had I not had a complicated delivery which required the other teams to come in, this never would have been caught.  I could have lived symptom free for many years with cancer just growing in my body.  

I'm so thankful and feel very blessed at the way things turned out.  I'm so lucky that the doctors were able to get all of the cancer out of my body.  I'm very lucky that I was at MGH where the doctors are top notch.  I thank God every day, count my blessings, and hug my two little girls just that much tighter.  

This was in grams-- she was 9lbs 1oz! 20.5" long!

I look absolutely deathly in this picture.  I had lost so much blood.  This was taken at about 3am.  However, this is a picture that I will treasure forever.

Adeline Kate's Birth Story-- Part Two

Okay, when we last left off in Part One of AK's birth story I had dilated pretty quickly and went from 3cm-10cm in 4 hours.  It was 3pm and we were just giving the green light to begin pushing.  If I'm being completely honest here I'll tell you that I dreaded this part.  Some people say they feel relief when pushing, but I on the other hand couldn't disagree more.  When I pushed with Reese I felt everything and it was awful.  My hips burned, under my ribs burned, and I was so exhausted.  This time I was determined to have a different experience.

My nurse had called anesthesia to make sure that my epi was filled, and to give me an additional dose to get rid of that window of pain I was feeling.  My legs were numb-ish but I could still wiggle my toes,  I couldn't feel pressure where I should have to correctly push, yet I felt each and every contraction on my lower left part of my belly.  I began pushing with all I had and was hopeful that we'd be meeting Little Miss quickly.  I always hear of these stories of "3 pushes and he/she was out!", and I was hoping that I'd have her out within an hour.

An hour of pushing turned to into two hours, and different doctors were coming in to check on me (Mass General is a teaching hospital, so not only was Dr. Lee in there, but a resident, my nurse, the baby's nurse, and a medical student).  We tried numerous positions- on my back, on my side(s), using a bar holding a towel, and I was feeling extremely discouraged because I wasn't making progress.  The reason I wasn't progressing was that Adeline's position was sunny side up which meant that the largest part of her head was trying to come out first, and she just wasn't clearing my pelvic bone, rather hitting it and going back up with each push.  They tried to turn her, but to no avail.  My doctor who was due to come in at shift change at 7pm, came in early.  She arrived in my room at 6pm and began to discuss our options.  By this point I was starting to loose it, I was hysterical and completely out of my zone.  I didn't want to push anymore because I was so exhausted and in so much pain that I moaned and sobbed through each contraction (that may I add were right on top of each other giving me zero time to recover in between).  My body was almost in shock- I threw up and kept waiting for what anesthesia had given me to kick in, but for some reason this epidural was failing just as it did during Reese's delivery.

My doctor said that they could try the vacuum to assist in delivery, however there were many risks associated with it.  First, the baby could have gotten superficial lacerations on her scalp, she could (in rare cases) bleed under her skull, and I would be at a much higher risk to tear and have fissures.  Not only that, but I was warned that I would have to push just as hard (if not harder) than I had been as the vacuum only assists in delivery, and doesn't do all of the work.  Todd and I needed to talk, and I wanted privacy and everyone out of the room. I was hysterical and needed a moment alone with my husband.  I kept thinking, "How is this happening right now?! How did this labor/delivery experience go from so good to so bad? Why me?"I had a million emotions running through my head and began to feel sorry for myself--- I've known of so many women that have had amazingly easy deliveries, yet my worst nightmare was coming true--- having gone through the whole vaginal labor, yet ending up with a possible c-section. Had I known this was going to happen, I would have opted for the c-section from the beginning.

After outweighing our options, Todd and I decided that we weren't willing to take the risks associated with the vacuum assist.  If it were a sure thing, that I'd be able to get Addy out vaginally, that would be one thing, but that wasn't the case.  With my track record and luck, she probably still wouldn't have come out and we would have had all of the above happen and still had to have a c-section.

When Dr. L came back into my room we told her that we were opting for the c-section.  She wanted to check me one more time to see how close Addy's head actually was to see if it were at all possible to deliver without assistance.  Her face said it all, and when she began to speak it reconfirmed everything that we had thought in the first place. Adeline was in fact stuck, and no amount of pushing was going to make her come out.  C-section it was.

To Be Continued...

Adeline Kate's Birth Story-- Part One

The morning of my induction! Notice sweet Reese on our bed reading Goodnight Moon! ;-)

Last belly pics! Whoa, baby!

The days leading up to my induction were filled with emotions- both good and bad. I cried for no reason one day while driving just looking at Reese in the backseat.  I felt guilty for having another baby.  I worried about not connecting to this baby as I did with Reese. I was extremely excited to meet this new baby, and to finally see her! I was worried about delivery-- would it go smooth? Would it be a nightmare like Reese's delivery? Was this my last pregnancy? I was excited to not feel so horrible each day and be in so much pain, yet I was trying to soak up every last kick and jab that I felt.

I had had my appointment the Thursday before my induction where we had to met with a different doctor since my doctor was doing training at Mass General. At that appointment we learned that I hadn't dilated much more than the week prior and was still at 2cm, but my cervix was softer.  The doctor stripped my membranes again, and scheduled my induction for Tuesday.  After my appointment I was crampy and hopeful that something would happen to trigger labor on my own before my induction.  On Friday I lost my mucus plug in the evening, and began to have contractions.  They were painful enough that I thought they could be the real deal...that is until they stopped at about 3am.

Todd and I were happy to spend the weekend as a family of 3 and make the best of it. We finished last minute projects, I wrote more lists, and we tried to prepare Reese for what was about to happen.

On Tuesday, we dropped Reese off at school, then headed into the city for my 9:30 induction. I would be lying if I told you that I wasn't crying at drop off.  That was the last time that I'd see my little baby girl Reese as an only child.  The next time I'd see her she'd be my big girl, a big sister! On the way there I was so uncomfortable in the car and could not get in a position where I felt good.  The contractions began and were about 7-10 minutes apart.  Once we got the hospital and to my room and got hooked up on the monitors, the nurse was able to see that I was infact contracting on my own.  The doctor came in to do a quick check of my cervix to determine what the best method of induction would be.  My check put me at 3cm dilated, 50% effaced with a soft, low, cervix, and contracting on my own.  We'd be able to skip past any cervadil or citotec or folly balloon, and head directly to pitocin.

By the time all was said and done I started the pitocin at 11am.  Within 15 minutes I was contracting every 2-3 minutes and having painful contractions.  The nurse and doctor both said I could get the epidural whenever I wanted, but I had it in my mind that I'd try to labor through on my own for at least a couple of hours first.  By 1pm I'd had enough because my contractions were so close together that they gave me no real time to rest in between, and so I requested the epi. My epi was in by 1:30.  The process was as smooth as last time with Reese.  And within about 15 minutes the pain seemed to melt away. All was well until about 2:30 when I started feeling a "window" of pain through the epi.  It was the same exact thing (same side and all) that I felt during Reese's delivery.  I told my nurse and she called anesthia to come give me more meds ASAP.  My nurse said that the doctor was anxious to check me and would probably break my water.   No sooner did she say that, and I felt a pop and then a gush of water.  My water had broke on it's own-- again exactly what happened during Reese's delivery. When my water broke with Reese I was 8 or 8.5 cm dilated by that point, so I was pretty anxious to see  how far along I was.

At 3pm I was checked, and the doctor said "How does complete sound?".  I about fell off of the bed.  Say whatttttttt? In 4 short hours I had gone from 3 cm to complete- a far cry from being in labor for 39 hours with Reese. Todd and I were so excited! What an amazing experience we'd had so far.  We were going to meet our little girl soon! There was a commercial for Home Alone (the movie) on the TV in our room for 6:30pm.  Todd and I joked about that being the baby's first movie-- and how ironic because we LOVE Christmas movies and Home Alone is one of our favorites.  Little did we know how things were going to turn out...

To Be Continued...

She's Here!!

Hello, World!

Miss Adeline Kate was born last Tuesday, April 9th 2013 at 7:12p.m.  Little Miss ended up being born via c-section, with quite the birth story.  I'll be posting her birth story as soon as I can. But until then, enjoy this beauty! We are adjusting to a family of four quite nicely, and I am just head over heels with Adeline! I forgot just how much I love the newborn stage-- it's just the best and goes by way too quickly!

Update from Thursday's Dr App

We have a plan! Induction is scheduled for Tuesday, April 9th @ 9:30am.

I was still 2cm dilated at my app (so not much progress from last week), so they stripped my membranes during my internal. I had to see a different doctor at my appointment since my Dr was doing some training/rounds at the hospital. This new Dr. ended up paging Dr.L to have her call me and figure out the time for induction. Dr. L said inductions can take 24 hours, but that she's hoping mine will be less since A) I'm already dilated some, and B) this wont be my first delivery. During my appointment the doctor felt the baby and said, "Well, she's definitely not 6lbs, but I don't think she'll be 9lbs, either."  Um, well I hope not, ha! Of course we want healthy, but I'd love a smaller baby than  the first time. I cannot imagine pushing out another 9lber!

Since my app, I've lost my MP (Friday night), and had contractions all Friday night until 3am that have since stopped. All signs that my body is getting ready! I never had any of these things happen with my pregnancy with Reese.

I feel good about our plan- and best of all my doctor is working Tuesday night, so she'll be on while I'm laboring and hopefully be able to deliver me!

I'd appreciate your thoughts and prayers for a smooth L&D! I'll be sure sure to post after her arrival.

38 Weeks-- Baby #2

Reese and I on Easter!

1. How Far Along? 38weeks as of Tuesday, April 2nd 2013 vs. 38 weeks with Reese

2. Total Weight Gain/Loss? I think 28? I don't weigh myself at home, so I am going by my last Dr. app.

3. Maternity Clothes? I have a uniform of black leggings or maternity jeans and about 5 shirts that I rotate.  Over. It.

4. Gender? GIRL! :-)

5. Movement? She really likes to move, this one.  Ouch.

6. Sleep? I'm at the point where I'm just in so much pain, and I'm waking up before Todd and Reese, just laying there and waiting. My mind just races. Could today be the day?

7. What I miss? Having my own body and not being in so much pain.  I almost feel disabled.

8. Cravings? Raw carrots with salt (I know, I know), and dried fruit-- like trail mix. I could seriously eat a whole container at a time, but I try to resist.  

9. Symptoms? Contractions, pains, shortness of breath, Charlie Horses starting in my side butt/top of leg, soreness down below, and exhaustion.  Tons of pressure!

*I had my 37 week Dr. app last Thursday.  It may be my last appointment with Dr. L because she isn't in next week for my 38 appointment, and I may be being induced at 39 weeks on 4/9. Dr. L checked me and I was already 2cm dilated.  This was crazy for me to hear because with Reese I was in painful labor for 29 hours before I made it to 2/3cm dilated.  I know this could mean nothing (and it give me false hope), but it could mean something.  I've been having contractions and pains for the past week, so maybe they are actually doing something.  I also spotted a little bit on Thursday morning, so things are definitely happening.  

*I go back to the doctor tomorrow, so we'll see if I've progressed. I'll update after my appointment.